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Bah HumBug! January Visa bill Arrived !

January 7, 2010 Family Travel No Comments

Can't Afford ChristmasIt is January. I know that because there is postage due on my credit card statement. The envelope weighs so much, the postman may have to go out on disability. There are so many pages of charges, the bank wanted to print a sequel. The Sears catalog is thinner. And it’s all because of Christmas.

I swear I didn’t overspend. There were no “big” gifts around here, but there must have been a lot of little ones if you believe CapitolOne over me. Frankly, it’s all still a haze. I can’t remember any of it. I had to ask my oldest kid what we gave her.

A Snuggie, she answered.

Oh yeah, now it is all coming back. The Snuggie is the infomercial must-have gift of the year–a cheap blanket with sleeves. That’s it. Sleeves. It’s in case you need to use your hands while you are sleeping on the couch. It’s the dumbest idea I never thought of, a very lucrative dumb idea.

Just to be clear, I did not get the Snuggie for her as punishment or in retaliation. She actually wanted it. Though it wasn’t technically on her iTunes wish list, she kept talking wistfully of Snuggies. All the teens wanted Snuggies. The black ones made great Harry Potter capes. The brown ones worked well as Jedi robes. Supposedly, there were zebra prints and leopard prints and who knows what else to choose from.

Santa decided to make the kid’s dreams come true. She’d get her very own Snuggie. The hunt began. The good news was that nobody was sold out of Snuggies. The bad news was nobody was sold out of Snuggies. Why couldn’t she have asked for a tattoo or a belly button ring or something else reasonable?

I started at Rite Aid. Within five minutes I spotted a customer with a Snuggie in her cart. I debated if I should ask her where she found it. What if she had the last one? Then she’d know exactly who boosted it from her when she wasn’t paying attention. I chickened out and decided to ask.

The worst thing that could happen is I’d have to flash a couple of twenties in the parking lot to take the Snuggie off her hands. It wouldn’t be the first time this season. I was sort of getting used to getting fleeced after the Zhu Zhu pet hamster debacle that I do not wish to discuss.

Thankfully, the nice lady directed me to an end cap filled with cotton candy pink Snuggies. I was so excited that they were one-size-fits-all until I noticed the big “CHILD” sticker. My heart sunk. But then I spotted a blue one on the bottom shelf. Size Adult. Ho ho ho!

I couldn’t wait to see my daughter’s face when she opened her gift. She carefully unwrapped the package. Either she was an extraordinarily good actress–the thought of which I find very disturbing–or she was genuinely thrilled and surprised at her Snuggie which was sort of disturbing too. She stuck her arms through the sleeves. “Check it out! A blanket! With arms! It’s blue. Avatar!”

Teenagers are so weird.

Signed,

Jody Payne

Mom Living Out Loud

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