2010 New Years Resolution

December 27, 2009 Humor No Comments

happynewyear Tell me the truth. How are you doing on the Resolution? You know which one I mean. I make it every year when I look in the mirror on New Year’s morning. My face says I partied like it was 1999 when the reality was I fell asleep at nine p.m. Unfortunately, the rest of me matches my face.

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Help! I’m Married to a Geek

December 18, 2009 Humor No Comments

geek
I married a geek before geeks were cool. Now suddenly they are hot stuff. I don’t know when exactly the tide turned. Was it the underdog appeal of Napoleon Dynamite, achieving the impossible in The 40 Year Old Virgin, or the childlike appeal of Will Farrell?

The tide has turned into a tidal wave. Geek is hot. And I am married to one. Woo-hoo!

If you are like me, you are thinking the time is ripe to embrace your inner geekness. And yes, girls can be geeks too. Don’t believe me? I have two words for you: Ugly Betty.

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Mom vs. Kid Fitness Challenge

December 17, 2009 Family Travel No Comments

It comes every year, as constant as death and taxes. And for me, just as dreaded. I’m not talking about 1040s. I’m talking the Presidential Physical Fitness Challenge.

The program has lasted far longer than any president, which in my opinion is too bad. I have fond memories of failing it repeatedly as a kid. Now my children are taking the challenge and we shall see if I have passed on the Fitness Challenge Flunk Out gene.

I have one out of three kids who takes this process very seriously. I think she’s been brainwashed by Arnold Schwarzenegger. It is her nine-year-old intention to gather us into a flock of believers. In exercise, that is.

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Mom’s Adventure : Shopping for Mattress

December 15, 2009 Family Travel No Comments

mattress-momsThere should be a 12-Step program for the commitment-phobic. It’s just so hard to clutch to my iPod Touch when I know the next generation will be out—and out-of-stock–by Christmas. I’ll be stuck lusting in my heart for bells and whistles I can never have. Better to wait.

That’s why it took me ten years to buy a mattress. How could I ever know if we were truly compatible from a five-minute showroom speed date? Yeah, the old one was shot. But we fit. We knew each other’s failings. We kept each other’s secrets. We both knew it could be worse. Finally, I sent the pitiful old queen packing and started flirting with some studly kings. It was a new experience!

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House Cleaning: It Ain’t Easy Being Green

December 10, 2009 Family Travel No Comments

Even Shrek would admit it ain’t easy being green. The eco-friendly bandwagon has arrived in town and I am holding on by my fingernails. I sure miss the good ol’ days of conspicuous consumption.

I’ve tried to show my support for the cause by turning down any flight in a private jet, refusing to wear bowling ball sized diamonds mined in Africa, and dumping any friend who lives in a house larger than 3,000 square feet. But they just want more, more, more. It’s so hard to change.

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